The Crazy Hand Lovers' Dastardly Deeds
by xXDEEECKSXx
Summary: Usopp and Luffy finally say something to end it all.
1. Chapter 1: Firsthand Murder

3/7/17

Chapter 1: Firsthand Murder

Robin smiled, sipping her newly forged tea that Sanji has just handed her. Life was good...life was good..."Knock knock." Luffy smiled at Usopp. "Who's there?" Usopp giggled. "Biggie Cheese." Luffy grabbed his mouth to stop himself from vomiting with laughter. Robin's eyes grew wide and red. She slammed the tea down on the table instantly, cracking it to bits with her strong hands. "Uhh Robin Swan, is everything ok?" Sanji asked concerned. Robin put her hands on the table and lowered her head, with the black anime bar that covers her eyes. "Hey Robin," Luffy smiled, "did you like my jo-" She ROARED "BIGGIE CHEEEEEEESSSEEEE" while ptsd induced flashbacks rippled through her mind. She grew hands out of every slab of skin Luffy had. They all pinched a part of his body and ripped off his skeleton in unison. " RAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOO!" Robin lamented as her fingers shredded the monkey fag to bits. Everyone stared in fear and awe. Robin gasped, clutching her chest in pain and leaning on the side of the boat. She began to sweat violently. "N...no...I won't let her take control..I... I WON'T!" Robin's clothing began flickering from purple to pitch black. "NNNGGHH!" Robin was growing weaker and fell down to the deck. She fell on her stomach with her hair covering her face. "ROBIN?!" Nami screamed, running toward her fallen comrade. Before she reached her, Robin began laughing softly, "haha...hahahaha..." "Robin...?" Nami cautiously kept creeping forward. Nami bent down and touched Robin's shoulder. Robin instantly grew a hand out of her own shoulder and clutched Nami's neck. Nami gargled in pain as Robin turned her face upwards, sporting a mischievous smile. "Robin...no!" Nami coughed out right before Robin smiled like Jim Carrey's The Grinch and ended her miserable Moneybags life with a crushing blow. "HAHAHAHAHA!" Robin wickedly laughed as her eyes stayed the same color and she slaughtered everyone on the Sunny, except Chopper. "R...Robin...why?!" Chopper cried reindeer tears. "Robin? Heh. Robin is dead..my name is Dark!Robin NOW!" She proclaimed viciously while eradicating his tiny reindeer body. She slumped over, bathing in the blood of her enemies. Her cowgirl uniform had turned completely black. Now that she was pure evil, she needed to do drugs and illegal things. Dark!Robin looked in the cabinets of the Sunny, finding what she was searching for. She took out a wad of tobacco and shoved it in her mouth, similarly to Crocodile. She also put on a pair of glasses. "People who wear glasses are basically satan since they can't see regularly with the light God has given us." She smiled, taking a deep evil breath in. She felt like pillaging a village, a stadium, anything really. Just at that moment, the Thousand Sunny crashed into land full of city life, and Dark!Robin loved it. She jumped off the boat and stood there, evilly.


	2. Chapter 2: Barehanded Knuckle Brawl

Chapter 2: Barehanded Knuckle Brawl

Suddenly, normal civilians started screaming and running every which way. She noticed a black cloud mist appeared with someone walking out of it. "Please! Someone save us!" A civilian screamed. "Ahh..a chance to test out my new strength..." She smiled wickedly, baring her regular normal Robin teeth. The person who came out of the portal also had a menacing aura, and many deadhands. "Hello, Nico Robin." The black wearing man smiled...but was being completely ignored because Dark!Robin only had eyes for massacring the civilians. "SEIS FLEUR!" She screamed, activating hundreds of hands and the sounds of backs snapping could be heard in the distance. "Ahem...my name is Tomura Shigaraki and I've come from Boku no Pico Villain Alliance to recruit the fines-" he was cut off again as Dark!Robin OCHO FLEUR CLUTCH'd the remaining casualties into an abysmal spinal hell chiropractors wouldn't be able to unfuck in a million years. "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" He threw a tantrum while scraping his neck with his freshly done nails. Suddenly, Dark!Robin stopped maiming the remaining mexicans and looked him dead in the eyes. "Those are the words of someone who's cruisin' for a bruisin'." Dark!Robin cracked her knuckles on all her hands and neck as she slowly but swiftly began walking toward him in a dignified manner. "Heh.. Heheh heh...you think you can beat...NOMU 2?!" He screeched while another portal opened up, revealing an ugly bird body builder with no top head part. "Ew." Dark!Robin spawned two hands and snapped its neck in less than a second. "WHAT?! THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE?!" The little necrophiliac SHRIEKED in C sharp. "Perhaps for Robin, but Dark!Robin IS NO MERE MORTAL!" Dark!Robin spawned many hands like the Indian god Hercules and went for his scrawny little neck. She was evil due to the laws of physics, and therefore strong, so she easily lifted him off the ground. "Any last words, varmint?" She cackled, cosplaying as her evil cowboy persona, McCree. "Heh. Nope." He touched both of her arms, and they disintegrated. "Hm. Interesting." She respawned her arms, but this time fully equipped with Ak-47s pointing at him. Shigaraki began sweating. "You're a disgrace to handsexuals everywhere. Go back to playing with your toys, kid." Dark!Robin had cool sunglasses appear on her face and she chewed her tobaccy, about to pull the trigger when. "Uh...WAIT! I know...you are...much more powerful than me..please, teach me your ways...master." Shigaraki fell on all fours bowing to Dark!Robin. She rather enjoyed sinister groveling, so she took a quick break. Dark!Robin snickered while digesting a Reese's snack-bar she had stolen from the machine next to her. "Well, you're already wearing all black, which is the first step to becoming a scoundrel. Rise my student." She commanded. He did as he was told. Then she saw something and her eyes widened "NGGH!" Dark!Robin zoomed in on her own face, causing Shigaraki to wince. "What's wro-" "WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE?! RED?! AIRWALKS?!" Dark!Robin ran towards him while sharpening her new battle weapon, Nami's Usopp cane thing, but because she was evil, it had knives on the end of it now. She slid underneath him and sliced off his feet in one fell swoop. Shigaraki's one visible eye widened as he fell to the ground, "MY FEET." He screamed like a diaper. "God stop being such a fucking baby. Back in my day you were lucky to have both legs." She took a moment to reminisce the time Zoro had amputated her sister, Sobin, so she could survive the plague in 1997. "Come along now, we're getting you new shoes." She patted her side like someone urging a dog to follow them. Shigaraki didn't hear any of her flashbang because he bled out. Dark!Robin let out a gruff sigh before snapping her gangly fingers and teleported them to the mall. "Ah, my power is growing." She fiendishly smiled, beckoning him to walk into Payless with her.


	3. Chapter 3: Villainous Merchandizing

Chapter 3: Villainous Merchandizing

Dark!Robin sifted through all the shoes and found a pair of black Reeboks. They stood in line at the cash register. Shigaraki pulled out his wallet but Dark!Robin stopped him. "Don't worry fam I got you. Plus, now that I'm a villain, my bank gave me the darkest card in existence..." Dark!Robin smiled like a heathen who just committed the darkest treachery as she pulled out her Wells Fargo credit card. "Oh, that simply is evil." He shivered, just staring at the Wells Fargo credit card was enough to make most normal people become servants of the most devious Dark Masters, Henry Wells and William Fargo. "Thank you ma'am, will that be cash or credit?" The Payless employee smiled, waiting for her response. "Credit," Robin said while handing her the credit card. "Thank you, would you like your receipt?" The lady asked. "Oh wait i don't have to pay for this i'm a villain." Robin said aloud, beginning to walk out the store. "Excuse me, ma'am, your receipt..." The Payless employee caught them red-handed. "OH NO WE'RE BUSTED!" Dark!Robin grew hands out of the slightly chunky employee and grabbed the nearest pistol and shot her at point-blank range. "AHHHHH!" The other Payless employee screamed watching her Payless sister fall to the ground, dead. At that exact moment, Shigaraki stealthed behind the other worker and violently snapped her neck. Dark!Robin stared for a moment at the dead body, then back at Shigaraki before speaking, "I thought your special devil fruit power was disintegration." "It is." He replied nonchalantly. Dark!Robin crossed her many arms, "Then why did you snap her nec-" "I JUST WANTED TO BE COOL OK?!" He threw a babyfit tantrum and smashed the jewelry stand, but it ended up just disintegrating. Dark!Robin shook her head and picked up a new pair of boots before heading out the door.


	4. Chapter 4: Backhanding a Fuggle

Chapter 4: Backhanding a Fuggle

They both walked and stared at each other and said nothing until, "Ok so can we hold hands." Shigaraki asked directly with a period and not a question mark. "EVILDOERS DO NOT HOLD HANDS. THEY SNAP THEM OFF." Dark!Robin snarled nastily, spewing some tobacco into the ground as she stomped on the nearest 5 year old. "But...I...have done everything that you've asked...master..." He crankily garbled while scratching his neck. Dark!Robin punched his hands, which ended up snapping his wrists. He just sighed, he didn't feel pain anymore after being with Dark!Robin for an hour. She spat a wad of black juices onto the freshly mopped mall floor. "Fine." She extended one of her many deadhands. Shigaraki grabbed it but it disintegrated. She made another one. He grabbed it again but it disintegrated. She made a third one and he grabbed it and it disintegrated. She made a fourth one, and when he tried to grab it, she vehemently bopped him on the head, twisted his nipples, grabbed his face hand, and honked his nose three times counter-clockwise before he had a chance to open his feeble ashy mouth. "AUNT JEMIMAH!" She exclaimed, puking all over him at the sight of his roasted skin. Then she sighed, removed her glasses, and adjusted them on his nose. "Ok now you are cute." "..." He glared at her covering in puke, rotating broken wrists, and fresh foot stumps. "Uh...high five?" Dark!Robin held out her real hand. Shigaraki hesitated. "Come now, we're both handsexual villains here...you did a great job." Dark!Robin smiled warmly, a smile only achieved by someone who has descended into the dark pits of true villainy. He extended his broken wrist. Dark!Robin lowered her hand to help him out. He just about touched it when "SIIIIKE!" Dark!Robin lifted her hand high up in the air like a elementary schooler, causing Shigaraki to fall forward flat on his face. "HAHAHA, A TRUE ACT OF ANTI-CHRISTIANITY, LYING TO ONE'S NEIGHBOR!" Dark!Robin triumphantly gleemed with archeological pride, viewing her toned biceps in the process. Just then she was knocked flat on her ass by what felt like a stump leg. Shigaraki kicked her in the left testicle which caused her to ROAAAAAAAARRRRRR. Shigaraki rolled over and high-fived her face and she disintegrated into the dark nothingness from which she came. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA bitch." Shigaraki smiled. And so Dark!Robin became Dead!Robin and that is the story of how Shigaraki got the third hand on his left shoulder YOU DON'T HAVE TO WONDER ANYMORE PEOPLE I JUST SPOILED BOKU NO PICO CHAPTER 234 SURPRISE CROSSOVER YOU'RE WELCOME.


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